I was just reading my previous posts and realized it’s a few days away from being a full year that my mom’s house has been on the market.  I can’t believe how stressful this past year has been for everyone.  The housing market and the job market have dragged us all down hill so far, we can hardly keep footing right now.  Mom really needs to push for disability with all the problems she’s been having.  She’s gone through at least 4 jobs this past year and can’t seem to keep hold of anything.  Her memory isn’t all as great as it used to be, she’s constantly tired, her diabetes has gotten worse, still having seizure activity…I’ve had to take her to the emergency room twice.  She doesn’t want to admit that she can’t hold down a job for very long anymore, and that’s not good in this economy especially.  She’s also stuck on keeping the house on the market and waiting for a buyer to snatch it up.  Meanwhile, she’s getting deeper in the whole and taking me and my sister along for the ride.  A big twisted co-signer story that I won’t even get into right now.  The house may need some TLC, but it’s a good house in a decent neighborhood.

Duo and I and my sister and her husband are trying to get my mom to do a rent-to-own deal with the house.  Definitely something to be careful with, but if you find the right people to live there then she won’t have to worry about coming up with a mortgage payment and, instead, pay off her outstanding bills.  My sister has offered to turn one of her spare rooms on the first floor of her house into a bedroom for mom and knock out the coat closet to extend the first floor bathroom to include a stand-up shower.  It’s not like my mom can’t lean on us to help her out.  Hell, we’ve been doing all we can to help!  I go over to help her with random stuff around the house or just to spend the night and give her company.  My sisters get her out of the house and try to get things off her mind.  Most of us have even taken on some of her bills here and there to help her along.  If only she would recognize what NEEDS to be done.  If only we could snap our fingers and get her out from under the mortgage payments for good.  That would be freaking AMAZING!!!!

16 floors up and I can’t see much more than the street lights fighting through the snow filled sky.  Less than an hour before I begin my quest among the downtown streets to hop the EL and finally go home!  Can I please be a bird so I can fly south for the winter??  I don’t mean pigeon either….those things are stupid and stay around to crap on your head when you’re all bundled up and heading to work!  Not like that happened to me yesterday or anything like that….totally hypothetically speaking!  The side walks are mounds of packed, dirty snow with tiny paths for the crowds.  The fast paced downtown crowds are impatiently slow.  Luckly I don’t have to pass many shoppers….not close enough to the Mag Mile.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE winter!  As long the winds don’t burn my face and I don’t twist an ankle.

Chicago’s a bit submurged at the moment.  Well, obviously not all of Chicago…but when you’re driving past a city park and happen to see a lake in it’s place with hand rails sticking out where the pool should be…yeah, you know it’s been a bad weekend.

Duo, Selphie and I felt the urge to get out of the house today and went for a fun afternoon for some indoor, cosmic-like miniture golf.  The travel both there and back was crazy.  Detour in both directions due to streets needing sand bags for the ever rising river.  Even yesterday when I was at my mom’s house to clear out the garage, I had to leave my shoes there to dry.  It was like we never got rid of that pool in the back yard.  Except, in a pool there’s a solid ground to place your feet, not soggy ground to loose your shoe in!  Needless to say, I refused to come back over today to take out her garbage. (She has a hard time with stairs)  I’m hoping that tomorrow is a better, drier day so I can go back to help.  The house goes on the market as of tomorrow, Monday.  It’s just a waiting game now to find the right buyer.  Hopefully luck will be on our side and the house will sell quick.  After the past 5 years, especially, my mom can definitely use a break.

Wow…I haven’t written on here since March!  Craziness.  SO much has happened since then.  For one, I moved out of my mom’s house and into my own condo!!  Big move, but it’s what I had to do to keep my sanity in tact.  And, getting my tax refund gave me the extra push I needed, since it gave me extra money that I knew I needed for the move.  I’ve been doing pretty good with it too.  Granted, I’m mostly at Duo’s place, but I’m paying my own rent, my own bills…on my own.  I needed to KNOW I could do it.  I was talking with friends for a while before hand about renting with them and splitting everything, but I’ve seen what happens when friends move in together.  I couldn’t jepordize my friendships like that.  I could just picture the fights…or lack of talking.  I’m glad I made the jump though.

My mother’s house is coming along.  It will officially be up on the market this weekend!!  It’s been pretty stressful on all of us.  But my mom has found a job in the suburbs and we’re hoping the house sells fast so she can get an apartment close to work.  She’s got some issues driving at night, so she’s looking at a couple apartments down the street from work.  So much weight will be lifted when this house sells, it’s not even funny.  If anyone’s interested in buying a house in Chicago with easy access to three bus routes, two expressways, a publice grade school and high school and/or a catholic grade school and church….drop me a note! =)

Well, the process of moving sucks. My mother, sisters + their families and me have been trying to clear crap out of this house for the past couple months. Over 30 years of bills and misc. documents, clothes, lost toys, trophies, etc. I’ve never had to do this moving thing before…not that I’m a spoiled brat that’s been living with her parents all her life. I’ve given my share into this house. Even before my father passed away, I was giving money towards the mortgage and buying groceries here and there. I’ve never expected to mooch off my parents. I take pride in paying my dues. Having the ability to do so. But with the market the way it is and with my mother retired and looking for something new…it irritates me that I can’t do anything more to help out financially. Wow, my thoughts just took a detour!

Back on track now. So we’ve been trying to get crap out of the house, donating some along the way. Even Duo has been there for us and lent a helping hand with things as he’s been able. It’s definitely NOT a one person project and it’s far from being complete! So much for our completion date…you don’t even want to know what it was. Seriously.

So this move is stressing my mother and me out, as well as her search for a new career. AND, we just went over to Pennsylvania this past weekend for one of my sister’s last minute wedding. This was a drama packed weekend as my mom ended up falling down a flight of 16 stairs in my sister’s old Victorian house and going to the ER. We were all surprised that she walked away with just the bruising, busted lip and dislocated shoulder. She made it to the wedding the next day though. I could get into the annoyance factor of the trip….but that’s a rant that could go on and on and on. Let’s just say I had to snap just a little bit at the bride and groom….but wanted to do much more than that. It’s amazing to me that they think they have the right to judge my life and what I choose then to take a look at theirs. Marriage should be based on love and respect before convenience!

Let’s hope this weekend is less drama. Got a baby shower to throw on Sunday for another sister. But given which sister it is….I may need a straight jacket by Sunday night!

Looking out these windows, all I see is that pretty scene of snow covered pine.  This and freshly fallen, untouched snow really make winter worthwhile.  Snow angels, snowball fights, curling up under a comforter or two with a nice warm cup of cocoa…these kind of things make this season so great!  But, since I started driving there’s been one question that’s been creeping in my head every winter.  Has mother nature forgotten that snow should only fall on rooftops, trees and grass??  Can you imagine how much happier this season would be if people didn’t have to worry about wiping mounds of snow off their cars before leaving for work, having spin-outs on the way or slipping on ice? 

What can I say, it’s nice to imagine these kind of things.  I’m not saying that I’m a crazy driver or anything.  I think I’m a pretty good driver, but even the best drivers have difficult moments at the wheel.  With this in mind, I’ve been more cautious with snow and ice lately, especially when it comes to my mom.  She doesn’t need any more struggles than she already has.  These days, I find myself watching the weather predictions and actually taking time out of my travels for safety.  Last year around this time, my mind set was “it’s just another winter in Chicago…I can tackle it!”  But since then, my spin-out last February in a Michigan blizzard doing 15-20 mph on the expressway really put things into perspective like a slap in the face.  It doesn’t matter how cautious you’re trying to be…if you test mother nature, prepare yourself for the worst!  I always think of that man that showed up out of nowhere with a shovel in his back seat that dug my car out from the side of the road.  What’s the chances of getting stuck in a blizzard with the only driver around us being a man that plows streets for a living!  How crazy is that?!

Attended my friend’s Halloween party this weekend, which was like an escape from the jumbled mess that’s been going through my head lately.  Didn’t really feel that great the next morning though…how did I become such a light weight drinker??!! lol.  Duo made me feel better though.  Took me out to the beach for a nice long walk with the breeze hitting my face, waking me up, settling down the headache.  It was very relaxing. 

Unfortunately, a walk on the beach was not an option yesterday.  Reality set in and I realized that the production classes that I was enrolled in would not be feasible at this time.  I’ve been stressing out with starting classes this month and not being able to work through my family and financial obligations in time.  Asking for a second extension or a drop from the admission process did not go so well with the admissions director.  I had to hold back from writing this blog yesterday.  I was so frustrated that it would’ve just been a ramble of fury without making any sense.  It was not planned for my grandmother to pass away when she did….It was not planned for my mother’s health to go so crazy that she can’t make the hour and a half drive home from work in the dark….and it was not planned that I could not get a loan to cover the tuition….but it all happened anyways.  And yes, I do choose my family over my “dream career”.  Contrary to his beliefs, I am determined to follow through with this education.  However, it will not be at his center.  There are other options out there that I can turn to once my mother and I move.  This guy has no power over me or my career plans.  I can choose my own path and I’m prepared to deal with the outcome.  So what if it takes a little longer to reach the goal, as long as the goal is reached.

Yeah….I forgot my sign in stuff….that’s my excuse for not getting my butt on here in a couple months….oops!

So, last I wrote, I had my coworker’s wedding to attend. That went well. Duo accompanied me and we had a great time. Stayed out by O’hare. Those Hilton’s need to speed up their elevators! Seriously, they were reeeeally slow.

Aside from that, I’ve been spending more time with Duo. Spending as much time as I can with him. Kinda just been there for support with everyone too after his mother passed away. I’m glad I got the chance to meet her..to laugh with her. I could only imagine how hard it was for everyone. But, they have been strong and have been very supportive of each other. What more can you do.

As for things in my neck of the woods, I’ve been carpooling with my mom since she now works in the same office as me, and we’ve been driving every week to the nursing home to see my grandmother. She’s not doing so hot right now. They just made the decision today to stop feeding her, as she can no longer swallow food. They are just keeping her comfortable and pushing the fluids, giving her ice chips and such, and lots of morphine. It doesn’t look like it’s going to be much longer. The last time she was actually responsive was when my cousin came up with her newborn daughter Zoe. So, at least my grandma was able to see her before she zoned out for good! I just hope she goes peacefully. That’s all I could do. Hope.

Well, obviously, not in a crowded theater!  But, I did have to laugh just a little bit when I heard that my grandma yelled FIRE in her nursing home just so she could get the nursing staff’s attention!  Haha….she can be so spunky!  I’m sure the nursing staff just LOVES her! =)

So, with this, my mother and I will be going to visit her on Friday.  Make sure everything is ok.  Let her vent, if she’s up for it.  It all depends on her pain levels that day.  Some days she is clear as a bell….other days, she’s just not all there.  Hopefully Friday will be a good day for her.  That would kick my weekend off on a good note!

I got my coworkers wedding to go to on Saturday in the city.  Dragging Duo along!! hehe….No, not literally….he’s coming along willingly, and we’re gonna have loads of fun!  I think with all the stress going on around us, we both need a good, low stress weekend.  Maybe even go get me a kite this weekend….that sounds pretty fun!  Things still up in the air a bit.  Seeing where the days take us at the moment, which is fine by me.  Possibly do some downtown walkin…outlook good!  We’ll see when it gets here.  But all in all, it should be a pretty fun & relaxing weekend.  Can’t wait!

Don’t you hate it when you put important stuff in a special place, but then realize, that place is SO special that even YOU can’t find it?!

Yeah, me too.  It’s actually happened a few times lately…and, quite frankly, it’s really getting annoying!